Published March 15, 2007
This story is something I just thought up in math class. Please tell me
what ya'll think of it even if you think it sucks. Hope you enjoy the first
two paragraphs or so of chapter 1. P.S. no title yet.
The rain had only been coming down for couple hours and it had already
flooded the yard.Jake Kincade sat in front of the dying fire with ghosts
from his past in his eyes. a golf wolf, who had been an abandoned pup
that he had tamed, slept at his feet. Suddenly Jake was yanked from his thoughts as the animal woke and started growling toward the door.
"What is it Rogue?" Jake asked
Rogue ran toward the door and clawed the bottom trying to get outside.
Jake grabbed his rifle from it's place near his chAIr leaning against the
fireplace and went to the door. He opened the door to the sight of rain
driving itself into the ground and the shadow of riders on the far end of
his pasture. Jake thought they were cattle rustlers and shoot off a warning
shoot into the sky. One of the shadows fell, or seemed to be pushed, to
the ground. the shadow laid unmoving after he hit the ground. The other
two took off for the mountains to the east. Rogue shoot off after them but
stopped over the shadow. Jake wondered why rustlers would come this far north to steal his cattle. There were much bigger ranches below him with a
much better herd to raid. He had a sudden suspension the riders weren't rustlers at all as he approached the fallen shadow.
hope you enjoyed this. I 'll finish chap. 1 soon. please tell me what you think of the story so far.
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hey you know what I think of it already and saw that you add some more descritions so that was good. and I really like it so you better keep it up.
the a should be capitalized.
I'm not sure about this sentence but it was kingd of confusing.
chAIr should probably be chair.
Shoot should be shot if you use shoot it will not sound right.
same here.
A spelling error I think its spelled suspicion but not sure.
that it so hoped this helped and I will see you later [/quote]